It starts with a particular sound.
What would not even be noticeable to me - let alone impactful at any other time, is like fingernails on a chalk board reverberating through me. I look around sometimes trying to notice if it is bothering anyone else, but truth is I usually know the answer. The sooner I catch it the better but
I’m not always fast enough even after all this time.
As many of you will be aware, this is mental health week in Australia and globally, today is World Mental Health Day. What was once an awareness of a minority challenge such that we might have World Heart Health Day or Diabetes Day, it has long since moved away from being a minority. Mental health will impact all, not some, of us. The question is how frequently and how severely it will impact; and how soon we become aware of where we are at and what we need.
One of the earliest signs for me that my mental healthy is stretched beyond its bandwidth is sensitivity to certain sounds. A curse of my profession and many others’ I work with, is that we manually over ride signs we are stressed or developing poor mental health. For example, I notice I am wanting to sleep or withdraw and I ignore it and have s sugar or caffeine hit. Or that we are flagging from working long hours and we tell ourselves some people don’t have the work and we are lucky.
While it’s good to develop self talk and cognitive strategies to not give in or ‘wallow’ when we are stressed and on the ‘back foot’ in responding to life, it has also become a reason many people get to the point of high stress or rupture and what is commonly called ‘a melt down’. Usually we’ve decided not to pay attention to it and hope it will go away.
Everything in our biology is designed to protect us. Listen to it.
If I have a week where I am exposed to high levels of distress or significant or cumulative trauma, and maybe I’m also stretched at home, my body’s sensitivity to unexpected sounds is it’s threat response. Designed for our ancestors in an environment where a noise in the forest is reason to be alert for imminent threat, my brain amplifies these noises to the point where it is hard to focus on anything else. My startle response escalates and I can’t concentrate. This increases my irritability because my mind is working so hard to hold the conversation as well as managing the background screech as someone moves their chair.
Ask yourself what is your earliest possible sign that you are depleted? Is it biological (sound, tight chest or tummy ache); is it psychological (an emotion or a thought such as “I can’t do this” self talk, or frustration); or is it a behaviour (avoiding the kitchen at work to not talk to anyone, being avoidant).
Poor mental health at times is so inevitable, the task for becomes how soon we notice it and figure out what we need, before it ripples in to other parts of life. For me - one of the most important things I’ve done is try to lost the self criticism of whether I think I should be stressed or struggling, and instead observe it with compassion. Like all of us, I’m a work in progress but it has changed a lot for me.
I hope it helps you too.
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